I give up

After nine years of marriage, the events that transpired this pass weekend was the straw that broke the camel's back. It will be best for all parties involved if we end this now instead of prolonging the agony.

Saturday morning we left at 11 am to go look at houses for sale in Sunnyvale and Santa Clara. We came back at 3 pm and I said I need to take Raymond to the park so he could get out and play. He had stayed in the car practically the whole time while we went out and looked at each house. For an 8 year old boy looking at houses is downright boring. So he entertains himself playing with his Gameboy or read a book while he waited for us in the car.

She starts yelling that I'm not going to take Raymond to the park until either we get a divorce so she could buy a house on her own or I make an offer on a house that we've looked at. She accuses me of wasting 9 years of her life by not owning the house we live in. I don't yell back at her, I just leave with Raymond to the park.

After dinner I stayed in the bedroom while she's watching tv in the living room. It's clear that I'm going to be sleeping on the sofa that night. I'm sitting on the sofa at 1 in the morning eating a cookie holding a small dish to catch the crumbs. She comes storming out of the bedroom and knocks the dish out of my hands and it goes flying across the room. She is screaming that I'm not going to get to enjoy life if she doesn't get to have happiness in her life. She picks up the tv tray table and heaves it across the room. Her face is all red because she is just madder than hell.
She screams at me that she hates me and vowed to make my life a living hell. She then spits in my face and screams that she hates me. She is in a total rage. If someone had put a knife in her hand at the moment I'm sure she would have stabbed me in the heart with it, that's how angry she was. Through out all this I'm just looking down on the floor avoiding eye contact with her. I don't even respond, I just sit there and take her venom. I know that if I scream back, the situation will just erupt and get worst. I didn't sleep very well on the sofa that night.

Next morning after she comes out of the bedroom to take a shower, I climbed in bed so I could get some sleep because I was feeling very tired from not getting any sleep.
After she comes out of the shower she becomes livid upon seeing me sleeping in bed. She starts screaming that I can't sleep in that bed because it's not my bed anymore. She pulls the comforter off and then pulls all the sheets off, all the time screaming at the top of her lungs. She pulls the pillow from under me and starts hitting me with it. She grabs me by my shirt and tries to pull me off the bed, ripping the shirt. She did not succeed at getting me off the bed and makes her angrier and she starts screaming for a divorce "I don't care that it's my birthday, I want a divorce right now, let's go see a divorce lawyer right now". This went on for probably been an hour.

At about 1 pm she comes in and ask if I'm going to her birthday dinner party that evening over in Pleasanton with her family. I said no I'm not, I don't feel well. Then she very politely tells me that she wants me to go to her birthday dinner. I guess she didn't want to lose face by me not showing up. I told her no I am not going because I'm feeling ill. How can I possibly go and pretend nothing has happened? Does she really expect me to go spend time with her and her family and pretend nothing has happened and everything is fine? I hope she gets the message that I still have a backbone.

She is behaving like this all because we haven't bought a house, that we don't own the house we live in. She accuses me of wasting nine years of her life. After seeing the extreme intensity of her rage, I'm beginning to think she has psychological problems. Or maybe she really does hate me with a passion.

I used to think that staying together was best for our son. But now I'm afraid that he may potentially be harmed psychologically from witnessing all this anger and rage. I've asked her numerous times not to yell and scream in front of Raymond. She screams back that she don't care. If we are not together, at least Raymond won't be exposed to all the yelling and screaming.