Kaiser says they don't have marriage counseling

I'm taking a time out

I had planned on getting the divorce paper work started this afternoon but my brother in law talked me into hold off. He strongly recommends that we give marriage counseling a try before calling it quits. I really respect his opinion because he's been to counseling before and have experience how helpful it can be. Also he really knows the importance of a family staying together when kids are involved.

That's in light of the fact that she has changed her mind and is now willing to go to counseling and want to save the marriage. But I'm very suspicious of this abrupt reversal in her attitude. She did an about face in like 30 minutes and I sensed something didn't feel right. I could be wrong, but I can't be absolutely sure she doesn't have an ulterior motive. Yesterday she was pleading for me to give her a second chance and I refused. I had been wanting to escape for so long, I'm not about to give her another chance to hurt me again. I want to bail now and that is the best decision for me, absolutely.

But breaking up the family is not the best decision for our son. That I'm certain of. I don't want him to suffer anymore damage to his life if I can help it. And if she is genuine about really want to change maybe there is a chance to save the marriage, I don't know. I have a hard time trusting anything she says right now. I'm going to need to sleep on this.

I need help

"Even if she won't get counseling, you can go alone. You might get some insight into why you decided to air your dirty laundry in the blogosphere."

Am I really a certifiable looney?

Almost bought 3 years ago

Her sister struck it rich 3 years ago and while looking for an investment property in Pleasanton found this townhouse and offered to let us buy it instead because it was such a great deal, below market and all. I rejected the idea because it didn't make sense for me to be driving that horrendous Sunol Grade commute everyday to get to my jobs here on the peninsula everyday. Then you can buy it as an investment property they then so generously offered. A nationally syndicated radio financial planner thought it would be financial suicide given our financial situation, confirming my thoughts.

When I told her that I don't want to buy it because it will not be a wise thing for us to do, man, she went ballistic. Throwing furniture, screaming that I am ruining her only chance in life to own real estate. After suffering her rage day after day, I caved in and agreed to buy it just to get her off my back. As I was calling her sister's husband to tell him that we are going to buy it, she changes her mind and said no she didn't want it. She didn't want us to buy it just so that it would get her off my back. Guess that wouldn't look too good on her.

Well if Pleasanton is too far, hey let's start looking in the Sunnyvale area. For 500k all we could find was an ugly townhouse with less than 900 sf. There was not anything else with a garage for under 500k. Smallest houses less than 1000 sf were going for over 600k. Remember, that was the time when prices were at the height of lunacy. I said no way we are going to buy at these ridiculous prices. Price I said will come down cuz they are just too out of whack with reality. Her sister's husband disagreed, along with rest of the population. They and everyone else were saying that price never ever go down in the Bay Area and if you didn't believe that you were a laughingstock. They're not laughing at us now.

I bet the sister's husband a dinner that price will drop if not in one year then in two. A month ago I reminded him of our little bet and offered him double or nothing. I said Bay Area prices will be lower a year from now. He didn't think so because prices have fallen so much already, so we are on for another dinner.
I'm pretty confident that second dinner is in the bag. Unless of course the new Administration can pull off one miracle after another.

The thing that bugs me is that she never gave me any credit for making a good decision 3 years ago, to not to buy then.

To be fair

One of her biggest reason for buying instead of renting is that we are throwing our rent money down the drain every month, receiving nothing back in return in terms of equity. She would throw the numbers at me like: $16,200 a year in rent, in ten years $162,000 we would have flushed down the rent drain. I must admit she has a very valid point and it does make me feel pretty stupid sometimes considering that 162k is a pretty big and hard nut to swallow. I messed up on that one, I'll admit that.

Sure, if I would've bought a house 9 years ago you wouldn't be reading this right now. If we could turn back the hands of time, like Ground Hog Day, heck we would all have perfect lives. Guess it's my lousy luck that I happen to live in a city where houses are pretty darn expensive and my livelihood pretty much anchors me geographically so that it is not feasible for me to move further away to areas where housing prices are much lower.

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Sorry for the bad apples.

Hope he's going to be ok

A month or two ago, she had casually asked our son how he would feel if we got a divorce. He said no he will not like it, that he will not like us doing what he sees his two cousins and their parents do. Her sister's two kids get picked up on Friday's by their father to spend time with him for the weekend.

He was not feeling well the whole day. He had a temp of 101, sore throat, headache, stomach ache and general body ache. These are symptoms of the onset of the common cold. These same symptoms could also be manifestations of stress, as I'm told by people in the heath care field. I hope it's the former and not the latter.